Why it’s okay to not have your life all figured out

Sometimes we feel like everyone around us has a plan and has their life all figured out, when in reality most of us are in the same boat. From the outside it might look like we know what we’re doing but really we have no clue. For a person like me who likes having everything planned out, I found it hard to come to terms with the fact that it’s okay to not know exactly what you want to do with your life.

Why it's okay to not have your life all figured out. Inspirational quote, Inspirational quote flatlay, life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain

Whatever stage you’re in in your life, whether that’s school, uni, just graduated or working life, we all think we need to know exactly what our next move will be or where we want to be 5 years later.

School makes us feel like we need to have our dream job completely narrowed down in our heads by the time we leave when actually, most people go into uni by just picking the subject they enjoy rather than having a clear goal of what career path they want to take. Most people don’t actually have their life all figured out.

We all get jealous of those people that have been doing internships every year and completely know the job they want to go into. I wanted to be that person, and while I’m still trying to research and think about my future, I’m not worrying about it as much as I used to. Sure, I have a few ideas of areas I want to go into and things I want to accomplish in my life but I’ve stopped trying to completely pin point everything and plan every last detail.

We all fall into the trap of spending so much time thinking about the future and how we want our lives to go that we don’t just live in the moment and figure it out as we go along. We get so caught up in knowing every little detail and we stress ourselves out when we don’t completely know what we want our life to look like.

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When I was younger I had a set plan for my life; I wanted to be a teacher, move out straight after uni, married by 25 and kids by 28 and that’s exactly how I wanted my life to go. Now I look back and think about how that kind of thinking just makes you panic more. Putting things on a time scale and planning to that extent or more just stops you from enjoying your life because you keep thinking about how you’re not quite where you wanted to be at that point in your life and end up disappointed.

Everything happens at different times in everyone’s lives so there’s no point trying to figure it all out right now. I think we all need to remind ourselves every now and again that it’s okay to be uncertain about your life, after all, isn’t that what makes the future exciting?

For me, it was always so hard because I don’t particularly like the unknown, even when it comes to books and films I look up the ending, because it’s scary not knowing how things will pan out. But getting over that fear and just relaxing and trusting that eventually everything will fall into place is the way I’m trying to be now.

Planning never works out the way you want it to anyway, you’re bound to have a set idea and then change your mind a few times. I think we all feel pressure to have our life all figured out and have a 5-year plan or know what the hell we want to do with our lives. But everyone does things at their own pace and gets to their goals eventually. We end up feeling lost when we don’t have a plan and we need to stop thinking that we’re lost because we aren’t, we don’t need to know everything about our future.

We should be trying new things and experiencing everything and not just getting stuck on having one set goal that we never branch out and see what else is out there. Learning to push away the stress and the voices telling you to figure out what you want and just letting yourself breathe and enjoy what’s happening right now is something I think most of us could use a little help on, especially me.

Why it's okay to not have your life all figured out

Do any of you worry too much about trying to have your life all figured out?

Beth x

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42 Comments

  1. Alexandra
    July 8, 2018 / 10:03 am

    Inspiring💜

  2. July 8, 2018 / 3:58 pm

    Good message! And does it sometimes happen that life is better than you imagined?

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 8, 2018 / 5:29 pm

      Definitely, when we stop worrying about what we’re going to do it sometimes ends up being better than you ever hoped, unfortunately that doesn’t happen every time!😅

  3. chezrama
    July 10, 2018 / 6:01 pm

    I planned my life in a way but ended up in another way completely. I never planned my life to be the way it is right now. But I am living it and I want to enjoy it and I refuse to surrender to the destiny instead I make my own destiny even if I did not plan my life to be this way 🙂 In another way, yes my path changed but by adopting to it I can write my own path 🙂 If that makes any sense 😛
    http://www.chez-rama.com

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 9:25 am

      Exactly, things don’t always go to plan so learning to not panic when that happens and just go with it is so important and something I’m still trying to learn!

  4. July 15, 2018 / 8:47 am

    Such a great blogpost! I often stop and think that I am only 24 and I have my whole life in front of me so I shouldn’t stress so much that I should have done this or that by now.

    xx
    http://www.thedecemberdame.com

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 9:26 am

      Me too! It’s so hard to not stress about the future but I’m getting better at it finally

  5. July 15, 2018 / 9:08 am

    My life right now isn’t as I had expected it would go about 10 years ago. But now, I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. 🙂

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 9:27 am

      Exactly! I think it’s so rare that people’s lives actually turn out exactly how they’d planned so we need to figure out how to accept the changes that you might not have expected 🙂

  6. July 15, 2018 / 9:39 am

    I thought i had it all figured out until I ended up in a very nasty divorce xx Great article

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 9:42 am

      Thank you! t’s so hard to be in that moment where you just don’t know what you’re doing but it definitely gets easier xx

  7. July 15, 2018 / 10:17 am

    Absolutely love this post!! Just this morning I was having a battle with my mind because I didn’t know what I wanted to do in my future career and your absolutely right, perfectionism and planning everything on a timeline reduces the feeling of excitement and uncertainty because you’re so focus on the time frame you have created and usually, mostly always what you planned in your future, does not happen.
    Such a refreshing post to read 🙂 xx

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 15, 2018 / 10:27 am

      Thank you! Exactly, we all worry so much about doing everything exactly as we’d planned and then we end up disappointed when really we’ll all find out own paths eventually xx

  8. ruthinrevolt
    July 19, 2018 / 8:51 am

    This was lovely to read. I’m guilty of constantly putting pressure on myself to figure out the future. It’s something I’ve always struggled with, because most people I’ve known had a clear direction for their lives and I’ve spent a lot of time feeling lost. Trying to see the beauty in taking it as it comes, but it’s hard sometimes.

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 19, 2018 / 9:04 am

      Yeah I find it hard too, I keep having to remind myself that I don’t need to have every step of my life planned out!

  9. July 19, 2018 / 9:01 am

    This is such an important post – thank you so much for writing it. I’m definitely going to be sharing it with friends who feel this way too!

    Nati x | http://www.curatedbynati.com | @curatedbynati

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 19, 2018 / 9:05 am

      Thank you! I’m glad it’s not just me that feels that way sometimes!

  10. July 19, 2018 / 9:03 am

    I’m struggling with this at the moment because all of my friends are graduating and finding graduate jobs, and I’m still trying to figure out where to go next, but there really is no timescale for working out what you want to do and doing it.

    Cordelia || cordeliamoor.squarespace.com

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 19, 2018 / 9:06 am

      Exactly, it’s so hard when you see your friends knowing what they want to do straight away and feeling like you don’t but it all works itself out in the end

  11. eviebraithwaite
    July 19, 2018 / 10:08 am

    I loved this post – I always used to, and sometimes still do panic that I don’t have my life planned out, and I’m unsure as to what path to take after university. It’s especially difficult seeing the people around you go on to do amazing things. However, I’m trying to just live in the now and I’m winging it a little I guess haha but as cliché as it is, everything happens for a reason! Who knows where I’ll be in 5 years time. Loved this! x

    Evie x | https://eviejayne.co.uk

    • bethrebecca
      Author
      July 19, 2018 / 10:14 am

      Thank you! So do I, we all have our own paths though and one day they’ll be people looking at us doing amazing things and thinking the same as we do now. It’ll all happen eventually the way it’s supposed to. I’m still working on it though, I worry way too much! x

  12. July 19, 2018 / 2:36 pm

    This was a great post. I need to stop worrying just like you say!

    • July 19, 2018 / 2:51 pm

      Thank you! I’m still working on it too, I’m just a bit of a stress-head and worry about everything too much!

  13. July 27, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Not sure what happened with my first comment ! I am very much the same when it comes to wanting everything to be planned out. This was very helpful!

    • July 27, 2018 / 2:05 pm

      Haha it’s okay! Yeah I really struggle with it but I’m slowly getting better x

  14. July 27, 2018 / 2:31 pm

    I’m a hard core planner over here, scheduling is my specialty lol. However I never had a set time for life event and you have, because I knew I’d never stick to them. That’s putting so much pressure on yourself, and like you mention could create negative expectations. This is such a great post because we all need that reassurance sometimes that it’s okay to figure out life.

    • July 27, 2018 / 3:12 pm

      Thank you! Yeah exactly, we all put so much pressure on ourselves and we need to start letting ourselves off a bit more often

  15. July 27, 2018 / 2:57 pm

    Absolutely yes to this 🙌🏻 I had a similar moment of realisation a few months back, and wish I could’ve told my teenage self!

    • July 27, 2018 / 3:16 pm

      I know! It’s such an important thing that we all figure out too late most of the time!

  16. Amanda
    July 27, 2018 / 7:17 pm

    When I was younger I had my whole life planned out and it was very similar to yours.. except I wanted kids younger than at 28. I’m now 28, married with 2 kids, SAHM and blogger and in a much different place then I ever thought. Does it make it bad? No. Does it make me uncomfortable? Sometimes! Anyway! Great post!!

    • July 28, 2018 / 9:33 am

      Exactly! It doesn’t matter if you’re in a completely different place to what you expected, everything still works it’s way out

  17. July 27, 2018 / 7:28 pm

    Such a good message! As a teacher, this is what I try to tell my seniors all the time. They don’t have to have life figured out already!

    • July 28, 2018 / 9:27 am

      Thanks! Exactly, it’s so hard to forget sometimes

  18. Lexis Rose
    July 27, 2018 / 8:20 pm

    This was so positive! Great post. 🙂

  19. July 31, 2018 / 7:42 pm

    I too am not where I expected to be, and my goals have changed significantly. Good luck, it will take some sincere effort – but if you can “practice as you preach” you’ll reap the rewards of a calmer, easier going you.

    • July 31, 2018 / 8:29 pm

      Thanks! I hope so! I’m definitely getting better at it than I used to be and I think it’s so important not to worry about the future so much

  20. Emma Batty
    August 22, 2018 / 7:59 pm

    I absolutely love this post! My life has turned out so much different to how I had planned. I had planned to get married at 22 and have my first baby at 25. I’m 26 with two children and not married but I wouldn’t change them for the world x

  21. September 7, 2018 / 9:33 am

    I love this post!

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